2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
