After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
