she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
