note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
