if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
