Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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