another moral hangover. fuck.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I intend to get homeless drunk
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
