Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
