how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
