Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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