they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Help. Why am I so naked?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
