Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
