i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
