how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize