how can u be prego again
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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