I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
