If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
