Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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