Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
