Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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