I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
