I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He felt like a one man threesome
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
