I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
