i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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