i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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