piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
