the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
