Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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