my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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