Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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