He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
