i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Swine flu. Run for my life!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
