i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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