She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
