Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
