Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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