I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
