When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My bed smells like the plague
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
