At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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