omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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