Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They took my balls.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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