No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
