oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
