I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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