Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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