We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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