are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
