dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
