Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize