I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
