My first STD was from a foam party
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
