just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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