It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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