i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Randomize
