I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
