I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
