dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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