idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
