Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
More tranny stories later!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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