The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Someone came in the potted fern
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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