my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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